If Social Media Outlets Were People

Thought Catalog


Twitter is dreadfully witty, oddly knowledgeable and incredibly precise in his delivery. He’s that kid who could never ‘apply himself’ in high school but somehow made it into Harvard, dropped out after one year then become a multi-millionaire by age 24. You can find him at every party ever, doing lines in the bathroom and excitedly telling everybody how his ADHD helped him get ahead in life.

Myers-Briggs personality type: ENTP


Facebook is that popular girl from high school who organized your ten-year reunion for the sole reason of judging everyone else’s success against her own. You go to her for all the latest gossip but she has this particular habit of making you feel vaguely bad about yourself when she points out that everyone else is doing better than you. Only redeems herself by re-introducing you to your old crush who she tells you is recently divorced…

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